Hello all,
It would be Shakespeare's birthday today. He also died on this same day exactly 52 years later. Ya know, that's the way it should be. It would call for some new Hallmark cards but would also create some interesting apprehension as one's day grows nearer. I rather like that idea. Tombstones would be cheaper as the folks would have to chisel fewer letters on them. Born November 6, 1966...died 2001. Plus if that Jesus guy had followed suit there would be one less holiday to deal with. Easter/ Christmas would be a paradox of emotions. We could all feel guilty about feeling good or all feel good about feeling guilty. This is what all great religions are built upon anyway. Jesus would have been born Dec.24, 0000 DCD (During Christ's Delivery) and died a few years later on his birthday. We would just have to paint a birthday cake, a clown, and some presents into all the prints of the Last Supper and we would be done with it. That Judas fellow would be off the hook. History would just remember him as the idiot that let the cat out of the bag over a surprise birthday party.
Yep, you guessed it...my wife is out of town and I have far too much unstructured time on my hands. I will step outside tomorrow on my way to work and it will be the first time in two and a half days that I have left the recliner. Did you know that channel 45 has New Zealand Football on it?
Kersten is out on a mental health holiday. I did not go with...that's why she called it a holiday. She has spent the last three weeks saying this every time a woman, any woman, was pictured on TV, "Oh, she has great hair!" Now I am fairly new to this marriage thing but I have come to learn that this is a cry for help. She left last Thursday to fly 1200 miles to get a haircut. It has been a long weekend for me at that. I have reconnected with some things though. The dogs like roughly the same food I do. They prefer to eat in the living room as well. Both dogs also prefer the stout to the pale ale. We still like ACDC played very loud. I now have proof that you do not need to check the mail every damn day. I now know that the Easter bunny will not come to a house unless there is a woman in it. And a touchdown thingy in New Zealand football is worth the same number of points as ours.
My mother in law is also coming back to Barrow with Kert for a visit. It will be great to see her. During commercial breaks of the New Zealand football game I had to clean house. These were the instructions left for me. I have been wearing the same clothes for 4 days to cut down on laundry, I haven't showered at all to keep the bathroom clean, and I have been going to the bathroom outside with the dogs. I have used the same butter knife to cut all the delivery pizzas. The dogs clean it between deliveries. We have a caribou front quarter in a cooler on the front porch. Apparently the warm spell we had a couple of weeks ago did not sit well with it. Green and fuzzy now. Moved the cooler to throw them away and exposed a collection of some odd looking shit behind the cooler. Decided to leave it all there. What are the odds that she will look in there?
Been practicing for Kert's Monday return..."Yes, of course I missed you; I love your hair; I don't smell a thing; Maybe we should get some beef instead; Why yes, I do like the present you brought for me, is it a spider plant? Are you sure we had TWO dogs when you left?; That stain was always there; and ... The toilet paper is outside by the grill..... why do you ask?"
Peace,
Bruce